Saturday, September 22, 2012

DOPE _____________

Whoa! Woke up in my usual "mood," after my usual 5 hours' sleep, and there it was:  I opened the new M.B. CD, Aeternum Aevum, on Peripheral Records; thumbed off the shrink wrap in that "guy who's worked in a record store"-way, and in one sentence Signore Bianchi had summed up my human condition (my eyes weren't even fully open yet) -

"Waiting for the eternity, in the anguish of the temporary."

The "Struggle Eternale," or some shit. But I won't be like the lead character in Paddy Chayefsky's Altered States, and say, "oh no, honey, I realize NOW my place is HERE, with YOU and the KIDSZZZZ; the ANSWER is that there is 'NO ANSWER.'" Nope, tried that, didn't work. I love my son, in fact I cherish him; he fills my life in a way that you cannot describe to someone who's never been a parent, but what I'm talking about here is something even more personal, which is to ACTUALLY FEEL OKAY in those moments that you're just staring at the ceiling, or laying there, having just come awake, or just about to go to sleep, or sitting there, kind of half-interested after working all day. I wanna feel OK in THOSE MOMENTS, and I'm holding on, until I get my "answer," William-fucking-Hurt, though something tells me that it's just one bullet and a LOT of nerve away.

Pfumpf. Onto this week's radio show (we won't talk about last night's Prison Tatt showcase; too much to say, photos to download/upload, and my thoughts are coalescing but not quite congealed, yet.) That I can actually function this depressed is pretty impressive, eh? ... Oh, I suppose many of us do it every day, in fact I know a few of you personally ...) Not having that as-intended Louise Brooks photo in place really bugged me, subtle for a My Castle of Quiet screen capture but just what I had wanted. 

Still, our "option 2" is really quite fine, and much more direct in its presentation (thanks to SARZAN!) And, if you have not seen Peter Lorre and Colin Clive in Mad Love aka The Hands of Orlac, drop whatever you are doing right now, even if you're holding a baby, and see it. Dr. Gogol loved Galatea;   "you are cruel ... but only to be kind." That is my kind of movie, put bluntly, so if you like what I write here, and/or more importantly what I do on the radio and the records I release, Mad Love is just about as good as it gets, in terms of a life unrequited; Peter Lorre's performance is crushing.


I'm taking this computer out of my hands before I do harm with it. Click on Doctor Gogol, so pleased with himself for being horrific, and for his deception, to reach the audio archives and playlist/comments board of this week's horrorcast™

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